Listen

One of the things I really want to work on this year is my listening. It's not that I don't listen all the time, it is just as some would like to say, I have selective hearing. I have a knack for hearing what I want to hear and tuning out everything else. Until recently I never saw this as much of a problem. And in my opinion most of what I wasn't listening too was unimportant.

However recently I was having a conversation with someone and it was a conversation that I had with said person several times. However the same issue we had in our previous conversation was popping up again. We had discussed this issue and the resolution to it in each of the previous conversations yet we were ending it again with the same result. That is when I realized that though I was speaking I was not being heard. I was also becoming frustrated with the situation.

Frustrated probably doesn't begin to describe it actually. I was furious. But while sitting and thinking about the situation through my anger I turned this listening issue on myself. There are times when Jess will ask me about a conversation I have had with someone and I can barely remember what I had spoken to them about. WHY? Because at times I don't listen. I may look attentive and apply the "smile and nod" or frown and nod technique depending on the situation but I may not have heard a word you said. It is normally after this type of conversation Jess will ask "What did you and so and so talk about?" My canned response is normally nothing to which she replies "You didn't listen at all did you." Normally I would be defensive and say that I did listen it just wasn't anything important. But as I sat thinking about my own anger towards someone not listening to me, I am regularly guilty of the same thing myself.

So even though I am getting a slightly late start on my changes for the New Year, I am going to attempt to be more attentive and listen more.

I heard a great anecdote the other day: "Why did God give us two ears and only one mouth? So we can hear twice as much as we say." Thanks to Tom for the quote! He had no idea that I was working on this and it was not said to me, but I was glad I was actually listening.