Labels Revisited

       So I said I felt labels were somewhat necessary to describe where we are at certain points as our life. Well after some discussion with friends and reading a few other blogs and reading some scripture I have changed my mind (I think). Funny how you feel strongly about something that you write it and put it out there for the world to see as your take on a topic, only to have that whole thought process changed through further thought and discussion.

      After I wrote the blog I received several texts from a friend of mine that really made me examine my opinion of labels. These texts came from someone that was labeled and the particular label turned their whole life upside down. On top of that it was a label that was not true and should never have been placed on them. As I started thinking more about labels I thought about examples from my life where labels were more of a detriment to myself or the other people that they were placed on, not some type of positive description of their life. I think that I was confusing a label with an adjective. Hard working, caring, moral, etc are things that I was considering labels and maybe I should have looked at these differently.

       Personally I have been labeled negatively at certain points in my life. As I think about those labels, some were true; however I don't think that they were ever a true description of me as a whole. Even when positive labels are placed on us do they truly describe who we are?

       People of the Second Chance had a quote the other day "When focused on being a person of no reputation, labels lose their control over us." Reputation in our society is extremely important. How many times have you heard someone say: "I have heard of/about them" or "your/their reputation precedes you/them?" WOW! So you or I have already been judged before we have even been met? I am not a fan of this idea. I don't want to be judged before we have even had the opportunity to have a conversation and I should not be judging a person before we have even met.

        During the first part of 2011 I was struggling at my job. There was a certain amount of turmoil around my workplace. I remember being extremely concerned about the labels that were being placed on me and the lasting effect that might have on my reputation, my career. Even though I had done nothing but my best, my work and my integrity were in question and this was all playing out in a public arena. These labels that were placed on me did not fit. The labels placed on me did not describe who I was. And as I was looking for another job during this time, even though where I was looking was hours away from my current job these labels followed me (to a certain degree). People were curious as to why I would leave the particular job that I had. They wanted to know what caused me to want to leave or if I was forced to leave and if so why. Not a particular fun situation to be put through.


      I think I have a better understanding of the harm that labels can cause. Jesus dealt with labels just like we do."Therefore some of the Pharisees said, “This Man is not from God, because He does not keep the Sabbath.” Others said, “How can a man who is a sinner do such signs?” And there was a division among them (John 9:16)."  These labels cost Jesus his life, not just a job, not just a reputation; labels can take life away.

       I know this is a topic and a part of life I will continue to struggle with. Placing labels on ourselves and others is culturally ingrained in us. However I definitely see a need in my life to remove label and stop myself from placing them on others.

1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.(Matthew 7:1-2)"

Grace and Labels

            Recently I started following the website and blog for People of the Second Chance and their site has pushed me to take a very introspective look about the way I look at life as well as the people in my life (Thanks for showing me the site Pastor Bob). For most of my life I have held grudges against those that I felt had done me wrong in some form or fashion. I don't think grace had really even been in my vocabulary (except in a selfish form). Also when it came to labeling people this was just a part of life. In order to determine which people you associate with and those who you hold closest, you attach certain labels to justify these actions. People of theSecond Chance ultimately has made me take another look at my life and how I address these two aspects of it.

  Even with all of this recent introspect I don't know whether I have developed more answers or questions honestly. I have found myself attempting to be more generous with grace. I am fortunate for the forgiveness that has been given to me throughout my life. Like everyone else, throughout my life I have made mistakes. Some mistakes have been small and some have been large. Some of these have just impacted myself and others have impacted those around me. Through all these I think most people have offered me a tremendous amount of grace. I am so thankful for the people in my life that have shown me this grace over the years. These people have been unconditionally loving and helped me get through some very rough times. This has made me wonder why I may have been so stingy with grace personally . Again this has created a bigger question than any answers for me personally. I did not grow up in a family that was lacking in grace. From my family I saw incredible acts of grace and kindness. Both my grandmother and my mom have been incredible examples of how to apply grace. I have seen someone take advantage of them, yet they were always able to put those things aside and see the best in people. This has of course led to some people taking advantage of them but you can find plenty of examples where people have been touched and changed by the help and grace that they were given. And over the past 8 years I have been so lucky to share my life with someone who also gives grace and forgiveness freely, and has pushed me to try and do the same, my wife.  As I said, I have never been one to embrace this type of acceptance and grace but it is something I am working on and I am so blessed to have had such great personal examples to draw from.

Labels are something that I am really struggling with much more than grace. I find myself surrounded by labels. I wonder if labels are a reality of life. I am not saying that labels are static. I feel that our labels can change throughout our life. Labels I feel are more of an adjective about us and where we are in our life not a title that we should be stuck with forever. Labels, if we indeed need to have them, they should be fluid. Just because we fall into a category and description now, doesn't mean that we will fit that tomorrow, or next month, or six years from now. I know personally I am not the same person today as I am typing this as I was 2 or 3 years ago. Life is constant change and we should not be forced to have the same label throughout our life. Is this justification for not having labels at all? I am really not sure how to answer that question. Maybe I am justifying my own placement of labels on myself and others. The more I think about labels the more questions I have. I know that my thoughts on this have helped me attempt to not make snap judgments on labeling people. We all have succumb to the mantra that first impression are the most important. This is one thing I am trying to change. I do not want to judge and put a label on someone the instant that I meet them. I am in no way saying that this is easy or that I do not do this, however I am trying to get to know people a little better before I make these types of decisions. 

This introspective look is all still fairly recent. I hope over time I will gain some more insight on these topics and have a better idea of how to let go of labels and give grace more freely. Hopefully this is a topic I will revisit in the future and have some better insight.

Cornbread and Andouille Stuffing

As I said in my first post I love to cook. Over Thanksgiving I decide to adapt and make my own stuffing recipe. It was extremely simple and turned out great. If anyone is looking for an easy alternative to boxed stuffing I highly recommend trying this.

Ingredients:

Butter - 1/2 Stick
Celery - 1/2 Cup
Onion - 1/2 Cup
 Bag of Dry Cornbread Stuffing - Entire Bag
Andouille Sausage - 3/4lb - 1 lb
Chicken Stock - 2 Cups
Salt and Pepper

In a large frying pan melt the butter. Once the butter is melted add the celery, onion, and andouille and cook on medium high heat for roughly 5 minutes or until the vegetables are soft. Next add the stuffing and chicken stock and reduce the heat to low. Once all of the stock has been absorbed by the dry stuffing and it is hot add salt and pepper to taste and you are ready to serve. If you have to leave it over heat until some other parts of the meal are ready you can add more stock to keep the dressing from drying out.

Like I said this is a really easy and quick way to change up from the box stuffing and add a little more flavor to that Thanksgiving and Christmas meal.

Number 1

Well for a while now I have wanted to start a blog. Originally I was thinking about making this a food blog as I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and wanted somewhere to share my food ideas and recipes. However, recently the more I thought about it,  I also wanted to talk about some of the everyday things we go through as people and as families. As much fun as it is for me to cook and spend time in the kitchen it is more important spending time with my wonderful wife and beautiful daughter. So in other words this blog is just going to be a mix of just about anything you can think of. Family, food, music, sports and just about anything else that strikes me as an interesting topic. This is my personal journey and the journey of the Rice family. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Patience

                         

                              I have always heard it said that patience is a virtue.
     
          When I was younger I never understood patience or the process of taking time or waiting for something. I was always in search of that instant gratification. I wanted what I wanted and on my time.
     
         As I get older I have come to realize it is not always my plans or my personal timing that matters. These decisions that I make and the timing involved around them have consequences to others as well. Now before deciding whether to go out and by that brand new big screen right now on a credit card I have to think of who that will affect: my wife, my daughter, our personal finances, that trip we may have been planning, food we need... All of these things can be affected because I had to have it right now instead of saving for it or waiting for a better time to make the purchase.
     
        I use money and a TV just because it is a simple reference, but patience flows into so many parts of our life.
     
       It can affect your attitude, your work, and your relationship. Just think about the last time that you were in a fast food restaurant and were in a hurry. How did you treat the person serving you because you were in a hurry? I bet most of us would say that somehow we let the fact that we were in a hurry affect the way that we treated that person who was serving us. Again we are looking at a prime example of a lack of patience. The server probably did nothing wrong but they were not bending perfectly to our schedule so it affected how we treated them.

        I remember hearing from a very young age having my mom tell me I need to be patient. Normally it was in reference to something I said that I really needed and was essential to my existence, you know a new toy or ice cream, really important things. I also remember being at summer camp as a kids and singing about the "fruit of the spirit" and of course patience was part of that. However all the talk about patience never really made much sense. Even up until this last year or so I don't think I truly understood patience.
       
        Over the past year myself and my family have been through some trial: lost jobs, lower salaries, working two jobs, illness, hospitalization, new schools, almost losing a home, and on and on it goes. Now for a while I didn't know what I was going to do. After all I felt it was my responsibility to take care of all of these things after all I am the man of the house and this is my job right. However I began to realize I could not handle all this on my own. I was losing weight rapidly and losing my mind at an alarming rate. It was while all of this is going on that I started talking to God again and knew there was something to all of this patience talk.

        Patience is what it was all about. It was time for me to realize that it was not always about my circumstances and my time. It was time for me to turn everything back over to God, and learn to have patience that he will provide me the opportunities and everything we need to live and thrive, but I had to learn to give up attempting to do it all myself and rely on someone else and their timing.

     

Luke 8:15

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁵ But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience.