Fear, that feeling inside that paralyzes you. The reason you lay in bed some days and just can't move. That feeling you get as a kid when you are about to get on that first roller coaster. Fear can make us physically ill. I know for me personally heights are terrifying, yet I have no problems with roller coasters or flying. Fears can be completely irrational.
However recently I have determined that the worst thing about fear is letting it control you and keep you from where you should be in life. For me personally one of my biggest fears is failure. For a long time I have let this fear run my life. It is why I haven't taken more chances in certain aspects in my life. And it is at times why I haven't trusted God even when his message to me was crystal clear. FEAR!!!
Lately I have been working on putting fear and anxiety behind me. There have been times when my personal fears have caused me such anxiety that I have had panic attacks or become depressed to the point where it is hard to get out of bed. When things would take, what I felt was a bad turn in life, I would shut down or, as a good friend of mine put it, turn into a ball of stress. And when I say a bad turn it was simply me being selfish as things were not going the way that I felt they should. I would say things like "why me?" or "what have I done to deserve this?"
I have discovered over the past year and a half that it was not necessarily what I was doing but more so what I wasn't doing. I had been trying to control my destiny and control the world around me, simply a task that I could not accomplish, at least not on my own. Trying to live a life in this fashion will certainly always result in the one thing I feared the most...FAILURE!!!
It was roughly a year and a half now since Jess, Leah, and I walked into the movie theater for a church service at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday. I went in broken and beat up. We had been through job losses, financial issues, family issues. Man I tell you if ever I had felt like a failure at any point in my life it was the worst at this particular time. When I left that service I left with a much different feeling than when I walked in. I am not saying I didn't feel like a failure at the time but the burden I felt had lightened some.
Since that day I have discovered People of the Second Chance. Through their organization I have met people and read stories that made me realize I am not the only one like this out there. I am not the only person who makes mistakes, loses jobs, and has had some rough spots in my life. For a change I didn't feel alone with these thoughts. People of the Second Chance has also taught me another very important lesson. That grace and forgiveness are a crucial part to overcoming this fear. Not only being able to receive them but also being able to show them myself.
It is because of grace and forgiveness that I am conquering this fear of failure. It is not that I want to fail... ever, however there will most likely be other times in my life that I will fall short of goals. It is how I determine to deal with them that is ultimately changed. Knowing that even when I fail that my wife and family still love me and that God does not look at me as any less of a man. It is amazing to have a burden like this lifted off your shoulders and makes life a lot more enjoyable when you know this unconditional love I am talking about.
Recently I have been blessed with the opportunity to start working with an incredible youth group! It is an incredibly scary and rewarding experience at the same time. Working with them had pushed me to face multiple fears all at once. I am afraid of acceptance, public speaking, and of course failure. However every Wednesday night I am facing each one of these fears. Alone I would never be able to do this but with God I am able to overcome them. Point being, we all have fear and we all go through rough times, we can try and go through these alone and deal with the burdens and the stress or we can trust in the one who knows you inside and out and knows the reasoning behind everything that goes on in your life.
Lately I have been working on putting fear and anxiety behind me. There have been times when my personal fears have caused me such anxiety that I have had panic attacks or become depressed to the point where it is hard to get out of bed. When things would take, what I felt was a bad turn in life, I would shut down or, as a good friend of mine put it, turn into a ball of stress. And when I say a bad turn it was simply me being selfish as things were not going the way that I felt they should. I would say things like "why me?" or "what have I done to deserve this?"
I have discovered over the past year and a half that it was not necessarily what I was doing but more so what I wasn't doing. I had been trying to control my destiny and control the world around me, simply a task that I could not accomplish, at least not on my own. Trying to live a life in this fashion will certainly always result in the one thing I feared the most...FAILURE!!!
It was roughly a year and a half now since Jess, Leah, and I walked into the movie theater for a church service at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday. I went in broken and beat up. We had been through job losses, financial issues, family issues. Man I tell you if ever I had felt like a failure at any point in my life it was the worst at this particular time. When I left that service I left with a much different feeling than when I walked in. I am not saying I didn't feel like a failure at the time but the burden I felt had lightened some.
Since that day I have discovered People of the Second Chance. Through their organization I have met people and read stories that made me realize I am not the only one like this out there. I am not the only person who makes mistakes, loses jobs, and has had some rough spots in my life. For a change I didn't feel alone with these thoughts. People of the Second Chance has also taught me another very important lesson. That grace and forgiveness are a crucial part to overcoming this fear. Not only being able to receive them but also being able to show them myself.
It is because of grace and forgiveness that I am conquering this fear of failure. It is not that I want to fail... ever, however there will most likely be other times in my life that I will fall short of goals. It is how I determine to deal with them that is ultimately changed. Knowing that even when I fail that my wife and family still love me and that God does not look at me as any less of a man. It is amazing to have a burden like this lifted off your shoulders and makes life a lot more enjoyable when you know this unconditional love I am talking about.
Recently I have been blessed with the opportunity to start working with an incredible youth group! It is an incredibly scary and rewarding experience at the same time. Working with them had pushed me to face multiple fears all at once. I am afraid of acceptance, public speaking, and of course failure. However every Wednesday night I am facing each one of these fears. Alone I would never be able to do this but with God I am able to overcome them. Point being, we all have fear and we all go through rough times, we can try and go through these alone and deal with the burdens and the stress or we can trust in the one who knows you inside and out and knows the reasoning behind everything that goes on in your life.
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)
