Be Present

 

How often do we live in the past, or stay up late at night worrying about the future? How much of our lives are we missing focusing on things that we can't change or haven't even happened yet? I am as guilty as anyone else out there of doing this, it seems at times that living in the moment is impossible. We all have so much going on at any given moment whether it is finances, relationships, children or jobs, it is hard to be present completely at any given time. Any moment I know that I personally have a ton of things going on in my head. I like to think of myself as a multitasker. A lot of times while holding a conversation, working, speaking, or watching TV there are numerous other thoughts running through my head. Now this doesn't mean that it always detracts from the moment but depending on what I am thinking, it can definitely cause distraction. This is another aspect of my life I really want to improve (another resolution I guess).

So often it is easy to dwell on that bad day you had yesterday or that huge bill you have due in 3 day, but these things that you really can't control are costing precious moments in your life. I don't want to miss out on quality time with my wife or daughter of playing in the yard or having those crazy conversation that you can only have with a 5 year old because of things I can't control. 

All we are ever guaranteed in this life is that moment that we are living right now. If we are not in this moment there is no telling what opportunities we are missing. How many times have you heard a contest announcer say "Must be present to win" I am attempting to adopt that fine print disclaimer into my life. If I am not present in the moment there is no chance for me to win at anything.

I have always been someone who worried a lot. My wife can attest to this strongly. So actually being present means that worry has to be something I work on as well. It is a work in progress just have to remember to shrug off the worry and keep living where we are right now.

#Winning (couldn't resist)

Mat 6:25

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Mat 6:34

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day [is] its own trouble.

Listen

One of the things I really want to work on this year is my listening. It's not that I don't listen all the time, it is just as some would like to say, I have selective hearing. I have a knack for hearing what I want to hear and tuning out everything else. Until recently I never saw this as much of a problem. And in my opinion most of what I wasn't listening too was unimportant.

However recently I was having a conversation with someone and it was a conversation that I had with said person several times. However the same issue we had in our previous conversation was popping up again. We had discussed this issue and the resolution to it in each of the previous conversations yet we were ending it again with the same result. That is when I realized that though I was speaking I was not being heard. I was also becoming frustrated with the situation.

Frustrated probably doesn't begin to describe it actually. I was furious. But while sitting and thinking about the situation through my anger I turned this listening issue on myself. There are times when Jess will ask me about a conversation I have had with someone and I can barely remember what I had spoken to them about. WHY? Because at times I don't listen. I may look attentive and apply the "smile and nod" or frown and nod technique depending on the situation but I may not have heard a word you said. It is normally after this type of conversation Jess will ask "What did you and so and so talk about?" My canned response is normally nothing to which she replies "You didn't listen at all did you." Normally I would be defensive and say that I did listen it just wasn't anything important. But as I sat thinking about my own anger towards someone not listening to me, I am regularly guilty of the same thing myself.

So even though I am getting a slightly late start on my changes for the New Year, I am going to attempt to be more attentive and listen more.

I heard a great anecdote the other day: "Why did God give us two ears and only one mouth? So we can hear twice as much as we say." Thanks to Tom for the quote! He had no idea that I was working on this and it was not said to me, but I was glad I was actually listening.

2012

I have been slacking on posting and writing lately. When I started this blog I wanted to post something at least once a week, however as I continued with this I have found it hard to make myself sit down and type some days. Anyway it is time to get back on track with this!

When January 1 rolled around I had decided that I wasn't going to make any specific New Year's resolutions this year. Not that I don't have things I need and want to improve on, I just didn't want to label it a resolution as statistically New Year's resolutions don't last. The things I want to change or improve on I want to be lasting changes, not just for 10 days or a year, I want life long changes in some areas. So over my next few blogs I am going to talk about some of these areas that I am hoping to work on.