Listen

One of the things I really want to work on this year is my listening. It's not that I don't listen all the time, it is just as some would like to say, I have selective hearing. I have a knack for hearing what I want to hear and tuning out everything else. Until recently I never saw this as much of a problem. And in my opinion most of what I wasn't listening too was unimportant.

However recently I was having a conversation with someone and it was a conversation that I had with said person several times. However the same issue we had in our previous conversation was popping up again. We had discussed this issue and the resolution to it in each of the previous conversations yet we were ending it again with the same result. That is when I realized that though I was speaking I was not being heard. I was also becoming frustrated with the situation.

Frustrated probably doesn't begin to describe it actually. I was furious. But while sitting and thinking about the situation through my anger I turned this listening issue on myself. There are times when Jess will ask me about a conversation I have had with someone and I can barely remember what I had spoken to them about. WHY? Because at times I don't listen. I may look attentive and apply the "smile and nod" or frown and nod technique depending on the situation but I may not have heard a word you said. It is normally after this type of conversation Jess will ask "What did you and so and so talk about?" My canned response is normally nothing to which she replies "You didn't listen at all did you." Normally I would be defensive and say that I did listen it just wasn't anything important. But as I sat thinking about my own anger towards someone not listening to me, I am regularly guilty of the same thing myself.

So even though I am getting a slightly late start on my changes for the New Year, I am going to attempt to be more attentive and listen more.

I heard a great anecdote the other day: "Why did God give us two ears and only one mouth? So we can hear twice as much as we say." Thanks to Tom for the quote! He had no idea that I was working on this and it was not said to me, but I was glad I was actually listening.

2012

I have been slacking on posting and writing lately. When I started this blog I wanted to post something at least once a week, however as I continued with this I have found it hard to make myself sit down and type some days. Anyway it is time to get back on track with this!

When January 1 rolled around I had decided that I wasn't going to make any specific New Year's resolutions this year. Not that I don't have things I need and want to improve on, I just didn't want to label it a resolution as statistically New Year's resolutions don't last. The things I want to change or improve on I want to be lasting changes, not just for 10 days or a year, I want life long changes in some areas. So over my next few blogs I am going to talk about some of these areas that I am hoping to work on.

Friendship

    
   
       Friendship and friends are interesting terms. Sometimes I think we throw around the word friend to easily and somewhat cheapen the meaning. For me personally I have always been the type of person who has made friends fairly easy, at least I think so. But lately I have been doing a lot more thinking about what friendship really is. Maybe it's because the holidays are a time that you want to be around friends and family or the service at Genesis last Sunday made me want to take my thoughts on this a little deeper.
   
      As I said I have never had an issue making new friends. However as I get older I realize there are different levels of friendship. Most of the friends that I have made over the years would probably fall more into a superficial type of friend category. True we have a great time hanging out and share some of the same interest but how would we really define our friendship. How much can we confide in  each other, are they there for me when I really need somebody, am I there for them when they need someone.
   
                           As Pastor Bob said Sunday "A true friend is there until..."
   
     Of all the "friends" I have had over the years I wanted to take a look at who is still around. Who has been there for me at my worst. At times I know I have made it difficult for some to be friends with me. And through that all, who is still here. Fortunately enough I have several that have stuck by me and been with me in my worst and my best. These friends have always been there when I called and needed a hand or just an ear. I hope that I have been able to provide this to them as well. I know I am not always the best friend and that we may have differences over the years but it nice to still be able to call these few anytime and have them know that they can expect the same in return from me.

     One other friend I can't leave out is my very best friend. My wife Jessica. Over the past 8 years things have not always been easy. Marriage is interesting and of course has it's ups and downs. This last year has been especially difficult in terms of general life changes. However our marriage has really blossomed through this rough time. We are now better friends than I think we have ever been. We talk and share more than we ever have. It is incredible how trial and tribulation will bring you so much closer together. I am so very fortunate to have her in my life.

      And to my new friends it has been great getting to know you and hope we can continue building the great friendships that we have started.
     
     I just want to say thanks to those that have stuck by me through the years. I truly appreciate all that you have done for me. I hope that we can continue to be there for each other until...